202380

Joke of the Day

"Boy: Did you know you can get fur from a three headed mountain monster? Girl: Really? What kind of fur? Boy: As fur away as possible!"

"My ice maker broke and now I have to make ice, in trays. I'll be on Pinterest looking for a recipe."

"ME: [practising my samurai sword moves in the mirror] [ever so slightly later] ME: [dying from massive blood loss]"

"Why did Sally fall off the Swing?? Because She had no arms...... Knock Knock Who's There?? Not Sally........"

"I need to get my shit together. It's in little piles in my kitchen & then there's some more in my wife's closet."

"What happens when you zip up a lion? It rars"

"At the hospital... NSFW At the hospital, I overheard two doctors discussing a patient that came in with six plastic horses stuck in his rectum. They described the patient's condition as stable..."

"My friend thinks he so smart. He says onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face"

"The first and last person to LIKE this status are the sexiest people in the whole wide world!"

"Tasteless Stephen King Joke When Rachel Creed came back from the dead, Louis killed her with a 12 Gage."