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Joke of the Day

"Renewing your wedding vows is like agreeing on a double life sentence to prison."

"I know you can't compare apples to oranges... ...but two apples do make a pear."

"I saw a sign that said ""Watch for Children"" and thought to myself, ""Sounds like a fair trade."""

"Porn is so unrealistic. There's no way a guy with a ponytail could have a house that nice."

"Did you know that NASA sent a bunch of cows into orbit? It was the herd shot round the world."

"Oxygen atom was looking for threesome. Poor guy got ozoned"

"Me: Hey, look, I can't stay long, I've got a cab downstairs. Her: You took a cab? Me: I'm gonna give it back!"

"Saw a sign at a gas station earlier that said ""car wash out of order."" So I waxed my car, sprayed it with water and then applied soap."

"Two blondes are in geography class together... One asks the other ""Which is closer, London or the moon"" The other replies ""The moon, obviously, can you see London?"""

"If a bunch of white people running down a hill is an avalanche, what is a bunch of black people running down a hill? A prison break."