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Joke of the Day

"I lost all my drafts in the last update. Twitter did you all a favor."

"Saw a standup duo last night. One totally died on stage. The other killed. Actually, now I think about it, it might have been a cage fight."

"Somebody said ""hey wanna eat this apple"" and I said ""no thanks I ate a PC for lunch"""

"""Darling, can I go out in this dress?"" ""Yes dear, it's already dark out."" ""Darling, can I go out in this dress?"" ""Yes dear, it's already dark out."""

"Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?"

"How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb? None they just have a nursing assistant do it. As much as the doctor orders."

"What is the best nickname for a nun in heaven? If you guessed ""Heaven nun"" or ""Angel nun"" you're wrong. The answer was ""Nun of the Above""."

"How do you describe a boring, Asian, black and white film? Anti-chromactic"

"How does a mustache support his family in the event of his untimely death? By investing in a shavings account."

"So this bloke said to me... He said "" I once got my dog to bring back a stick thrown 100 miles away"". I said ""that's a bit far-fetched"""