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Joke of the Day

"I lost all my drafts in the last update. Twitter did you all a favor."

"Q: Did you hear about the book about cowardice? A: It had no spine."

"A mother asks her son What is school like? It's terrible, we have to do all the work, but the teachers get paid."

"I use these ( ... ) a lot. For which, I believe, the technical term is Dotty Dot Dots."

"I would go to alcoholics anonymous But everyone already knows"

"Just bought a set of alphabet magnets for my fridge, so this may very well be my last tweet."

"Just landed at LaGuardia lol JFK"

"I wonder if Morgan Freeman talks himself to sleep every night."

"What do you call a pissed-off Founding Father? A Cranky-Doodle-Dandy!"

"Whats Brown and Sticky? Mohammed Ali opening a can of coke."