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Joke of the Day

"The clock is ticking... 9:09 9:10 George Bush 9:12"

"Not sure why this lady looked so shocked when I whispered, ""LIAR!"" into her ear after I watched her type ""lol"". She did NOT lol."

"Was being tested for allergies at an all-male nudist colony when the power went out... Needless to say, I felt every prick."

"Let me clarify that I am not racist. We have a black in my family tree. We just haven't cut him down yet."

"We were driving past the graveyard and my dad asks: ""Do you know why I can't be buried there?"" ""Why not?"" ""Because I'm not dead yet, Son."""

"If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don't love anything."

"""I have a cure for your burning bush."" Moses hitting on the ladies"

"I'm so high, I just tried to Google ""My favorite songs""."

"What do the weather in England and a Muslim have in common? It's either Sunni or Shiite."

"What type of meat are your calves made of? Bologna."