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Joke of the Day

"What do the weather in England and a Muslim have in common? It's either Sunni or Shiite."

"Why did the pervert cross the road? He was choking the chicken."

"I am a joke And my kid is the punch line"

"When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top."

"This kid at my nephew's birthday party shit his pants and got to go home. I'm seriously considering this option."

"Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman? A: ""Do you smell carrot?"""

"I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering. Ninety-eight of them said, ""Screamed get out.. get out of my bathroom?"""

"I'm not racist I have a black president."

"Wife: I feel horrible; I look old, fat and completely unattractive. I really need you to pay me a compliment. Husband: Your eyesight and opinion is damn right."

"Why were the police at the day care? Because some of the two-year-olds were resisting a rest."