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Joke of the Day
"What do the weather in England and a Muslim have in common? It's either Sunni or Shiite."
Next Joke
"Whales in a bar Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says, ""OUUHHHHWAHHHHHHH OUHHHHHHH AHHHH"" and the second one replies, ""Shut up Steve, you're drunk!"""
"Someone is yelling! The voice is familiar... How they rave and they rant! Is it Jackman? Or, Laurie? Hefner or Grant? - Horton Hears a Hugh"
"Most people seem to define ""skepticism"" as a rigorous doubt of any fact which they would prefer not to believe."
"[date] HER: the last guy i went out with was as boring as a sack of potatoes ME: [gets up from table] my son is a potato"
"Apple: Words with Friends Twitter: Words w strangers FB: Words w relatives Ouija: Words w dead friends Prayer: Words w imaginary friends"
"What are baby witches called? Halloweenies."
"What did the rock say when he had to leave his girlfriend for a long time? I pumice I'll come back soon!"
"What do you call a bunch of Mexican stoners? Baked beans"
"Respond to every ""How was your weekend?"" today by staring off into the distance & whispering ""So much blood..."""