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Joke of the Day

"I would rather that you'd just paid some of my bills, but thanks for this combination rubik's cube/pepper grinder."

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"My wife is talking about wanting to have children. I don't think I am ready for her to be a single mom."
"For years I've been wiping my arse with my right hand. I now realise that I should have been using toilet paper."
"Whats the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."
"When is a mountain goat not a mountain goat? When he's a hillbilly."
"C3PO and R2D2 walk into a bar... Then the bartender goes ""HEY!!! We don't serve YOUR KIND HERE!!!"" C3PO asks: ""Why because we're droids,"" Bartender: ""NO!!! 'Cause It's AN OUTLET BAR!!!"""
"[Request] Any good jokes with the word ""shit"" in them? I love shit jokes. Thanks."
"What does the snicker say to the other snicker? DEEZ NUTZ, Ha! Goteem!"
"Does anyone have the owner's manual for a wife? Mine's emitting a terrible whining noise."
"Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken."
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