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Joke of the Day

"I would rather that you'd just paid some of my bills, but thanks for this combination rubik's cube/pepper grinder."

"I used to be indecisive... but now I'm not so sure."

"What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names"

"My mate Dave's just got back from his third tour of Afghanistan. Hardest bloody bus driver I know."

"Why is Oklahoma so windy? Because Texas sucks and Kansas blows!"

"Why don't Jehovah's witnesses celebrate Halloween? They don't appreciate strangers coming up to their door."

"Did you hear the joke about the alarm? No? It doesn't ring a bell?"

"Why does Naruto vomit after every meal? He's **BULIMIC!**"

"I've been sitting here trying to think of a French joke, and I almost have one that works. Unfrotunately, it went on strike."

"I was always really bad with numbers But I think my 34 inch dick makes up for it."