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Joke of the Day

"My wife is talking about wanting to have children. I don't think I am ready for her to be a single mom."

"I hate when I put my open beer down and forget where I put it and then I find like 7 open beers."

"Why is Harry Potter so popular in prison? Because he catches all the snitches!"

"Cilla Black arrived at the pearly gates She was greeted by Saint Peter who asked ""who are you and were do you come from"""

"I'll bring a knife to a knife fight because I have common sense. Idiots."

"Her: Put your finger on it! Me: Like this? Her: Oh yeah, I can finish now! -Making the perfect bow"

"Vacuum the cat, its easier than vacuuming his hair from the whole house"

"Show me on this calendar where the bad Monday touched you."

"Why were the Seven Dwarfs kicked out of the bar? Because they were Miners... XD"

"What's better than a violin on your bed? A fiddle between the sheets"