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Joke of the Day

"I'm voting for Hillary Clinton because... According to Bill, she doesn't suck."

"Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn't given freely by another person, it isn't worth having"

"A missing 3YO was found inside a bowling alley claw game. After many failed attempts to get him out, police just settled on the turtle doll."

"What would ISIS be if George Bush was still president? WASWAS"

"What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dicktator!"

"Did you here about the gay midget? He finally came out of the cabinet"

"Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out? I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them."

"Things that don't kill bees: 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate his food before it was cool"

"I thought it would be good idea to charge my Note 7 and make a call at the same time. Boy did that blow up in my face."