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Joke of the Day

"Me: What do you want for breakfast? 4yo: Bagel Me: *makes it 4yo: Tricked you! I wanted toast Me: Nice trick. Now, eat your bagel"

"A man was killed with a starter pistol today Police think it might have been race related."

"What happened when Jesus 'screwed' around? He got *nailed*."

"If someone came to my door & said ""We'll give you a dollar for every plastic bag shoved under your kitchen sink."" I'd be living large."

"I just play poker so I can say I'm going all in without smirking."

"Two fish were in a tank... One fish says to the other ""You man the guns, i'll drive"""

"""You're not the Bruce Springsteen of me!"" - Angry employee from New Jersey"

"Dangerously attractive guitars get added to the sexy fenders register."

"Q: What do you have when you have a cow and two ducks? A: Milk and quackers."

"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day... Teach a man to fish and he'll put you out of work."