206318
Joke of the Day
"Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses."
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"[Spanish w/ translation] Cual es es la risa mas picante? Ahi Ahi Ahi Translation: What is the spiciest laugh? Pepper pepper pepper"
"Wife has 5 hours to live Doctor: I am sorry, your wife is with us for only 5 more hours. Husband: No need to be sorry. I have survived 20 years of marriage.. what's 5 more hours!"
"Forgot to make resolutions? Just write out everything you did last night and at the beginning add the word ""stop."""
"[arguing with friend about chemistry] *cop walks up* do we have a problem here? Me: No. We will find a solution once you argon, officer."
"how do you help gay psychopaths? With a straight jacket ."
"Harrison Ford has broken his ankle. There will now be a new Star Wars cast."
"Which president was famous for his long pauses? Ellipsis S. Grant."
"""Makin all the ladies drop they panties"" I brag, pulling the fire alarm at Victoria's Secret."
"What's a slave's favorite type of music? House"