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Joke of the Day

"This is naut, ok? If America has 'astronauts' and Russia has 'cosmonauts', does Denmark have 'deeznauts'?"

"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? Q: What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? A: My ass!"

"[@ Sunbeam Bread factory job interview] Boss: Your resume says you are ""definitely not 3 ducks in a suit."" 3 Ducks In A Suit: That's correct"

"Witch: Doctor I can't help pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Well there's nothing terrible about that. Witch: It is when the people with ugly faces don't like them being pulled."

"My doctor said diarrhea is hereditary. I guess it runs in your genes"

"""Man I hate tacos!"" Said no Juan ever."

"One of my legs is longer than the other. I've spent years trying to get it rectified... But I just end up going around in circles."

"Wanna freak people out? Lick your fingertips when you finish pumping gas."

"""Rock. Paper. Scissors."" - terrible surgeon"

"My dad told me that the future was in my hands Didn't know that the future was 9 inches long"