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Joke of the Day

"You know what really gets my goat? Chupacabras."

"I'm dating an x-ray technician... But I don't know what she sees in me."

"What's the difference between an engineer and a prostitute? An engineer makes a lot of fucking money, whereas a prostitute could make a lot of money fucking."

"Why are fat people always possessed by the devil? They never exorcise."

"Why do scuba-divers go in backwards? Because if they went forward they'd fall in the boat."

"My waterslide technique has been described as 'oafish', 'dangerous' and 'how did you get into the penguin enclosure'."

"Q: Have you seen the tree's new car? A: It's a two cedar."

"Have you heard about the newly developed French tank? It has 3 forward gears and 16 reverse"

"What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? I have no idea but I wouldn't milk it."

"Whenever I utter the word 'sober' I wash my mouth out with alcohol."