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Joke of the Day
"Whenever I utter the word 'sober' I wash my mouth out with alcohol."
Next Joke
"Starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse."
"How can people get engaged after dating less than a year? You haven't seen their fall wardrobe yet and tbh it could be a deal breaker"
"I went to see my drug dealer last week, he had some cheap trainers for sale. They were nice so I thought I'd get myself a pair. I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping for days!!"
"I haven't lost my virginity yet Because I never lose"
"A man walks into a bank... and yells ""this is a fuck up!"" confused, the teller says ""you mean a stick up?"" ""Nope, it's a fuck up, I forgot my gun"""
"Why do anarchists smell so bad? Because they're *revolting*"
"Counting to ten after someone pisses you off gives you time to think of somewhere to bury them."
"What did the the physiatrist say to the electron You have a lot of negative energy built up"
"Ok America. You've made us chuckle with this whole Trump 2016 thing. But if we see Kanye 2020 happen... No. More. SYRUP. Love, Canada"