198033

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an engineer and a prostitute? An engineer makes a lot of fucking money, whereas a prostitute could make a lot of money fucking."

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload."

"Prove im not a robot by typing the wierd letters? um PRove your not a robot! i can see u computer yoU are a robot and this is my website now"

"So, my girlfriend is a porn star . . . . . . she is going to be SO pissed when she find out."

"I was painting the house with my kids yesterday. It was fun and all, but I wasn't sure where to hide the bodies."

"Alone floating on a raft in the pool. Asked the neighbor to call my home phone and ask someone to bring me a beer. Work smarter not harder."

"Remember before Ebola, when we just had bola? Technology changes everything."

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, you're invulnerable."

"Today my grandpa told me I couldn't even bait a hook. Well he's never been more wrong. I consider myself a master baiter."

"what did little billy get when he stumbled upon r/twoxchromosome? Cancer."