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Joke of the Day
"*uses ipad as a phone* Hey look at me i'm a hobbit"
Next Joke
"What's are pirates favorite kind of weapon? RRRRtillary."
"On average, how many books can you put in an empty backpack? One. After that it's no longer empty"
"""911 what's your emergency?"" MY WIFE IS BEATING MY KIDS! ""Okay. I'll send the police"" *hangs up. OH CRAP I FORGOT TO SAY ""AT MARIOKART"""
"Saying someone is doing something ""like a boss"" to me is an insult because my boss does things half assed & incorrectly then blames others"
"Jan 21, 2015: The 1989 film ""Back to the Future II"" showed life on Oct 21, 2015. So we've got 9 Months to invent Flying Cars."
"Two nuns, a penguin, a man with a parrot on his shoulder and a giraffe walk into a bar The bartender says, ""What is this? Some kind of joke?"""
"Q: Why was six scared of seven? A: Because seven ""ate"" nine."
"""There's no I in TEAM,"" he yells. ""There's no COACH in LOCKER ROOM,"" I respond. He leaves in stunned silence, and is never seen again."
"So how is your sushi? Meh, it's all rice."