202517

Joke of the Day

"""There's no I in TEAM,"" he yells. ""There's no COACH in LOCKER ROOM,"" I respond. He leaves in stunned silence, and is never seen again."

"Why did the sick eagle get deported? Because he was an illeagle."

"What do you call a man who is attracted to black guys? A homiesexual!"

"Dear guy who parked his Lexus across two parking spaces: Your car got paint on my keys."

"My wife calls herself a trophy wife. I told her that's because I won the participation award."

"eating red meat increases your chances of dying by 13%. i now have a 113% chance of dying."

"My alcohol addiction was so bad i used to drink hand sanitiser! Im clean now!"

"It's weird that America has never had a bald eagle president but Australia has had several kangaroo prime ministers (I assume)."

"On a scale from 1 - overweight black woman, how confident are you?"

"New exercise regimen: I can only sit down when my toddler does. So far I've lost 17,000 pounds."