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Joke of the Day

"On average, how many books can you put in an empty backpack? One. After that it's no longer empty"

"I just set Twitter to post to Facebook, and Facebook to tweet to Twitter... So the internet should explode any minute now."

"Add 5 years onto your age That's how old you'll be in 5 years."

"You have to admit, healthcare reform sure beats the most lasting domestic reform of the last guy: warrantless wiretaps."

"Immigration jokes are funny But some just cross the line..."

"A guy is with a hot girl and gets a boner Girl: Is that a weapon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Guy: Both, it's a weapon of ass destruction."

"6: Daddy the floor is lava! Me: Oh yeah? *Pushes wife off chair*"

"There once was a man from Massachusetts And his name is JOHN CENAAAAAAA"

"You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets."

"What would someone in the 13 hundreds say if you told them we fly in giant metal birds all around the world? You mean across?"