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Joke of the Day

"I wonder if I've come a lake yet."

"People say drugs are bad, but I'm calling complete BS on that. I've only been on meth for 20 minutes and I'm already the king of Jupiter."

"What do you do with a Jew with ADHD? Put him in a concentration camp."

"No, no, no. I said I was a 'peephole' person."

"Whats the most confusing day in Harlem? Father's day."

"Why did the thieves get caught after robbing the Louvre? Cause they didn't have the Monet to get Degas to make the van Gogh."

"What's grey and comes in litres? An elephant. Apologies if this is a repost - heard it yesterday and had to share."

"Who do you call during a Zika virus emergency? The SWAT team"

"Did you hear the one where the Scotsman gave his son some money? Neither did I."

"The only ones awake 3am are the lonely & the loved. And also the sick who have to take antibiotics & pain killers."