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Joke of the Day

"Why did the thieves get caught after robbing the Louvre? Cause they didn't have the Monet to get Degas to make the van Gogh."

"I wanted to be a stand-up comedian. But i realised a sit-down comedian was more comfortable."

"Why couldn't Mozart find his teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn. (Stolen from laffy taffy)"

"Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas."

"What does a spanglish speaking chicken say when it's sorry? I apollogize."

"Removing access to contraceptives in order to discourage premarital sex is like removing seat belts to encourage safer driving habits."

"The full time football result is in: Real Madrid - 4... Surreal Madrid - fish"

"What did one sperm say to the other? How are we gonna find an egg in all this shit?!"

"I have CDO. It's like OCD, except the letters are all arranged in flawless, perfect alphabetical order... AS THEY SHOULD BE."

"I'm so glad they released a patch for my car The windshield was starting to get buggy."