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Joke of the Day

"The only ones awake 3am are the lonely & the loved. And also the sick who have to take antibiotics & pain killers."

"Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean. That's probably why the ocean's full of currants!"

"What did the egg say to the hot water? Give me a minute to get hard, i just got laid by some chick."

"How does a Jew make his coffee? Hebrews it."

"sometimes i cry when i chop vegetables other than onions, just so the onions don't think they're ugly or something"

"In the event of a zombie apocalypse, who's the first to lose his job? a necromancer"

"What did Ryu say when he was taking a dump?... ""IMMM-DUKEN!'"""

"When testing, make like a frat boy And bang out the easy ones first"

"Just went to pick up a paper clip but accidentally picked up two paper clips. Sometimes I don't know my own strength"

"I am motherfucking sick of the motherfucking delays on this motherfucking train!"