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Joke of the Day
"No, no, no. I said I was a 'peephole' person."
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"What's the quietest album in the world? Stephen Hawking - unplugged"
"Ever since they started calling pole dancers ""artists,"" I've been writing on my resume that my talents include ""moving in artistic circles."""
"My daughter is so ugly... ...everytime I molest her I have to close my eyes and think of her sister."
"My kid is almost old enough for social media, so we'll need to have ""the talk"" soon. You know, about your/you're and there/their/they're."
"If you're having luftballon problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 luftballons and whatever whatever I don't speak German"
"How does a blind skydiver know when to pull the parachute? When the leash goes slack."
"What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman."
"I saw a woman in a restaurant yesterday wearing a t-shirt that read ""Guess?"" So I said, 38D?"
"Back in my day there were only 151 Pokemon When they added more, my only question was ""Y"""