196424

Joke of the Day

"Who do you call during a Zika virus emergency? The SWAT team"

"I've been stung by a bee."

"How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch? Infuse the gravy with cocaine."

"Black people have 3 things that are white. Their eyeballs, their teeth, and... their masters"

"I know I have 19 items in the 15 items or less isle, but I'm pretty sure the tampons, painkillers, cheesecake and tequila count as one item."

"He's an owl with an attitude. She's a hawk who will take him to church. This fall, Sundays become Fundays on ABC's new hit 'Birds of Pray'!"

"Q: What does Shakespeare say when he is angry with his dog? A: Out, out, damned Spot!"

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Lego man: Is it because I'm block?"

"TRAIN TIP: A few minutes before the train arrives at your destination, get up and crowd around the exit so you can wait faster."

"My pastor said the day gay marriage was made fully legal in the US was worse than 9/11."