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Joke of the Day

"I tried pot brownies for the first time yesterday They tasted funny, since you usually cook brownies in a pan instead of a pot."

"sometimes I fill up my bathtub with spaghetti sauce and sit in it and pretend I'm a meatball"

"How many of you are household pets reading tweets while your owners nap?"

"I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night...he hypnotized 7 guys...then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled*F@CK ME*...what happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life..."

"*spin kicks cigarette out of your mouth* Nothing is cooler than health"

"Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? A: To make up for a bad summer."

"Today everyone will update about who they chose for president, then tomorrow it will be back to what they chose for lunch."

"Ready, Set, Go... Did you hear about the muslim who was shot by a starting pistol? It was race related."

"Why is everyone impatiently awaiting the new Zelda game? It's Hylian-ticipated"

"What happens on the first date with Bill Cosby? I don't remember"