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Joke of the Day

"*spin kicks cigarette out of your mouth* Nothing is cooler than health"

"I think my neighbor is stalking me... I saw her googling my name through my telescope."

"I tried to read a book on Nordic countries, but... I tried to read a book on Nordic countries, but I couldn't Finnish."

"Why does a blonde woman close her eyes in front of the mirror? To see how she looks like when sleeping."

"Do you know what band really bugs me? The Aphid Brothers"

"I'm in a long-distance relationship My girlfriend lives in the future."

"What does a wolf lick a ram with? His tungsten"

"How many dubstep fans does it take to wash a car? One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was."

"Jenna Jameson to Oprah, ""There's a little bit of Jenna Jameson in everyone."" I'm pretty sure she got that backwards."

"Henry IV got injured while bowling. One could say that he, Bolingbroke, while bowling, broke."