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Joke of the Day

"I hate when homeless people beg me for money. No, buddy, I'm not giving you money to buy drugs. I need that money to buy drugs."

"More of a Gay pickup line: I have naked tea parties about once every week. I have a tea pot now I need a tea bag. You up for that? (Ripped from family guy)"

"Parents: Don't let your kids get fake tattoos. Get 'em get real deal prison ink & teach 'em something about this shit called LIFE."

"Marriage is like a bar of soap. It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it!"

"What's the difference between Trump and Dave Who the hell is Trump?"

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible Who said that?"

"[Titanic] Steward: Lifeboats are assigned by your star sign. Aries, this boat. Virgo, that boat- ""What about Leo?"" Steward: No. Leo dies."

"Why did the whale cross the road ? To get to the other tide !"

"Priest and a Hindu are making breakfast.. The priest is spreading on margarine and exclaims, ""Look! It's Jesus in the spread!"" Shocked, the Hindu replies, ""Wow, I can't believe it's not Buddha."""

"What I if told you... ... you read the first line wrong?"