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Joke of the Day

"i failed a piss test at work you guys. Yeah, I made a poop instead! Hahahaha"

"I had a difficult childhood... I was brought up by a couple of alcoholics. I called them my Foster's parents."

"What does a Greek say when he receives his salary? Danke schon."

"What do you call a whiny dog? A chi-WAAA-WAAA!!!!"

"Found a concert that costs 45 cents! ..... It's 50cent and Nickelback /mikedrop"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent."

"Officer- I'm giving you a ticket for your speed Me- That's heroin Officer-... Me- Want some? Officer-... Me- Oooh, shiny handcuffs"

"One time I was really high and attempted to flush my foot down the toilet. There was no Twitter then, so I'm telling you now."

"How are lawyers and apples similar? They both look good hanging from a tree"

"I predict that in the year 2050 the only people who will have tramp stamps will be grandmas. Thus they will be referred to as granny stamps."