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Joke of the Day

"I got kicked out of the army yesterday. They called it a dishonorable discharge.... ....i call it jizzing over the generals face whilst he was asleep."

"My son approaches even small chores with the enthusiasm of a POW forced to build a railway bridge over the river Kwai."

"What do you call a black guy in outer space? An astronaut you racist bastard."

"My uncle, as an oncologist.... ... has a great sense of tumor."

"Why can't you trust snakes ? They speak with forked tongues !"

"Just saw a homeless guy fall asleep with a lit cigarette in his mouth. Which probably explains why he's homeless."

"""911, what's your emerg-"" ""The women at work have synced their uteri and it's Hell"" ""Sir uteri is not plural for ute-"" ""TAMPI EVERYWHERE"""

"What do you call a midget physic that has escaped from prison?? A small medium at large"

"When you go to the dentist, Reddit... Don't cheetohn your diet!"

"I like my women how I like my socks Full of my jizz and forgotten about somewhere"