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Joke of the Day

"I got kicked out of the army yesterday. They called it a dishonorable discharge.... ....i call it jizzing over the generals face whilst he was asleep."

"Why do lesbians shop at sports authority? Because they don't like DICKS."

"A girl told me her exact age."

"What is the difference between a hyper-active gamer and someone with a predilection of violence towards sheep? One's a button masher, and the other is a mutton basher."

"The next time somebody complains about millennials, maybe remind them which generation linoleumed over all those beautiful hardwood floors."

"If Trump wins I'm leaving the country if Clinton wins I'm leaving the country Not a political post, I'm just a pilot so I always travel"

"Her: what's your favorite thing about our date tonight? Me: that it's almost over"

"For those of you who try to build a pool by digging a pit in the ground, what liquid should you add instead of chlorine? Holey water."

"Oh man, I've got this mate thats addicted to drinking brake fluid. He thinks he can stop at anytime."

"There're only 10 types of people in the world ... those that understand binary, and those who don't."