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Joke of the Day

"If Trump wins I'm leaving the country if Clinton wins I'm leaving the country Not a political post, I'm just a pilot so I always travel"

"Q:What did the tornado say to the car? A:('You wanna go for a spin?')"

"Do you think the guy responsible for squirting water in NFL players' mouths has ""rehydration specialist"" listed on his LinkedIn profile?"

"Just found out today that the barber of my neighborhood got arrested for selling drugs. I'm shocked! I was his customer for years and didn't know he cut hair!"

"Called the rape advice hotline last night.. Apparently it's only for victims."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping on the bus? He woke up."

"Date: Lets break the ice. Polar bear: break th-[shatters Coke bottle] BREAK THE ICE? What are you saying?! D: I mea- PB: THATS MY HOME LINDA"

"Worst dad jokes are emoticons Had a group message with family and my sister wanted to go get coffee. So my dad sent this *$ Enjoy"

"Two fish in a tank Fish 1: uh, Greg? Fish 2: what Fish 1: how do we drive this thing"

"The human soul weighs 1.2lbs. I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into my job."