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Joke of the Day

"Son hunted 4 part of our family dinner 2night! With steady nerve & calm focus, he tracked down the hot dog buns for us at the grocery store."

"Why did Luke Skywalker get in trouble for using the Live Long and Prosper sign? It's because he was accused of cultural appropriation."

"I always keep a gun in my pocket so people won't think I'm happy to see them."

"Praying is a lot like masturbation. It feels good to the person doing it but does nothing for the person being thought about."

"What did number 2 say to number 1? you're an odd fellow"

"Why does George Bush not know how to read? Because he was a stupid twat who should have never become president."

"You should never bully fat people.... They have enough on their plates"

"GOT knock knock Knock knock? Who's there? No one. No one, who? Jk it's Arya Stark. I'm out, Jaqen H'ghar."

"whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake? There is one less drunk at the wake"

"What do you get when you cross a paraplegic and a Pentecostal? Faith-masturbation."