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Joke of the Day

"Praying is a lot like masturbation. It feels good to the person doing it but does nothing for the person being thought about."

"I blame my parents subscription to National Geographic when I was a kid for my preference for black women."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Alask. Alask who? Alaska later"

"A code tester walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders ten beers. Orders 2.15 billion beers. Orders -1 beers. Orders a nothing. Orders a cat. Tries to leave without paying."

"Me: ""This new flavour of Pringles is horrible."" Wife: ""You're eating a tube of tennis balls."""

"When Microsoft and Apple ship faulty products Microsoft: We will fix that faulty battery timer through a software update. *never fixes it though* Apple: *quietly removes the battery timer*"

"I finally found a girl with the same beliefs as my family She believes I'll amount to nothing as well."

"The only school shooting I do. Is heroin in math class."

"You don't have to like me. I'm not a Facebook status.."

"Math is so communist... ...There's class struggle for Marx"