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Joke of the Day

"Why did Luke Skywalker get in trouble for using the Live Long and Prosper sign? It's because he was accused of cultural appropriation."

"Where did Nicholas II of Russia get his coffee? Tsarbucks."

"when she gives me her autograph I love it when she signs the restraining order without dotting the i with a heart, playing hard to get I see!"

"My son can't handle going to camp this year. It's in tents"

"Stay away from a place called, ""Farm Fresh Restaurant"". I ordered the chicken soup. A rooster walked up and teabagged his ball$ in a hot bowl of water at my table."

"What do you call 2 polar bears jerking each other off? Bi-polar"

"What do you call it when you get an erection at a funeral? Mourning Wood."

"What do you call a hobo with an afro? A frobo."

"The world would be a better place if everybody drank alcohol. It would get even better if some of them choked on it."

"[911 call] ""My hand's stuck in a blender!"" ""Turn it on then."" ""What?"" "" I can't hear it, turn it on so I know you're not lying."""