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Joke of the Day
"I like my women like I like my computer monitors Bright, saturated and in multiples."
Next Joke
"I'm a wealth of knowledge Unless you want it to be true Then I'm pretty solid on about 6 topics 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors"
"How do you kill a hipster? Push them into the mainstream and watch them tumblr"
"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong socks this morning."
"After years of hard work and dedication, I can finally say that I have that sexy body I've always wanted. It's in my freezer."
"The worst thing about wearing a turtleneck is not being able to get up off of your back if you fall over."
"What's a man's idea of a perfect date? A woman who answers the door stark naked holding a six pack."
"What do you get if you cross a computer with a ballet dancer? The Netcracker suite."
"They say that you are safer in a bigger group Unless you're with 6 million...and everyone is jewish"
"A magician was driving down a street when suddenly... he turned into a driveway."