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Joke of the Day

"The worst thing about wearing a turtleneck is not being able to get up off of your back if you fall over."

"Mulder: it's some sort of over-fed grim reaper judgment figure. Scully: we're at the mall, Mulder. That's just Santa."

"What is the most said band name during the holidays? U2"

"I'm against vaccination! Vaccines save lives and I'm against overpopulation!"

"I have a talent for only attracting people I have no interest in dating."

"What's the difference between a vegetarian and a virgin? A vegetarian doesn't like meat and a virgin doesn't know yet if she likes meat or not."

"So the human cannonball decided to quit his job at the circus... The ringmaster said ""Please, no you can't! We'll never be able to find another man of your caliber!"""

"I'll be shaking hands with business people in front of a globe today if any stock photographers want to make some easy cash."

"The four food groups: Fast Frozen Instant and Chocolate."

"Your mama's hair is so nappy... Moses couldn't part it."