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Joke of the Day
"Q: What do you say to an alien with two heads? A: Hello. Hello."
Next Joke
"Monkey: ""We're not so different"" Me: ""Did that monkey just talk to me"" Monkey: ""Monkey noise"" Me: ""Did it just say 'monkey noise'?"""
"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it into a microwave until it's bill withers."
"Why can't blind kids have imaginary friends? Their i's don't work"
"You know you've been coding for too long when... System.express(feelings.tired);"
"Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art."
"What's the difference between England and an egg cup? An egg can stay in the cup longer"
"Christmas song Single bells, Single bells. Single all the way. My crush said let's be friends. Friendzone all the way !!"
"What is a proctologist's drink of choice? Two fingers of whiskey."
"[used car] ME: my credit's bad SALESMAN: k ME: i'm a criminal SALESMAN: no law against that ME: i'm on the run SALESMAN: then you need a car"