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Joke of the Day

"It's impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone."

"If you slept with my husband I'd be like ""OMG how much do I owe you?"""

"Where did Mary go when the bombs went off? Everywhere."

"Teacher: Why didn't you answer me ? Pupil: I did I shook my head Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here do you !"

"What do you get when you inject human DNA into a sheep? Banned from the petting zoo."

"One day in the Kwik-E-Mart A customer asked ""could you give me two bags, Apu?"" but Apu couldn't give two shits."

"Why does a Belgian have a knife in his car? To cut the corners!"

"Christians call it the Rapture. Chuck norris calls it cleaning his house."

"What is Kanye's favorite Transformer? Bruce Jenner"

"If a threesome is having sex with three people, and a twosome is having sex with two people... I'm handsome."