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Joke of the Day

"It's impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone."

"If I were really famous, I wouldn't even need body guards. These maxi pads promise me 10 hours of protection, each."

"one tectonic plated bumped into another... ""Sorry my fault"""

"What's the difference between a lesbian and a vacuum cleaner? One is great with a carpet, the other one sucks my dick."

"I hear they took Aaron Hernandez out of Madden and put him in Grand Theft Auto V."

"Why does Beyonce say ""To the left, to the left""? Because black people have no rights."

"What do you call a Chinese millionaire? Cha-Ching."

"Money is the root of all evil, until the collection plate comes around"

"4-year-old: What's ""saying grace?"" Me: It's when we thank the one who provided our food. 4-year-old: We thank the microwave?"

"My friend's coming over, I've got to be careful... ...my house mates are crazy and he's allergic to nuts. *Yes indeed.*"