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Joke of the Day

"how do you confuse a masterbator? 32"

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"Little Johnny When I was a boy, I prayed, and prayed, for a bike but never got one. Then I realized that God don't work that way. So I stole a bike, then asked for forgiveness."
"Have you ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich? That's what its like to fuck a 90 year old"
"Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven."
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming in panic like everyone else in the car."
"A boy wrote Santa: ""please send me a sister"". Santa wrote back: ""Alright, send me your mother""."
"I never make New Year's resolutions. I just carry the ones over from the previous year and add ""This time I'm serious"""
"A short philosophy joke... Rene Descartes is walking around a party when somebody asks him if he'd like something to drink. Descartes answers, ""I think not"" and promptly vanishes."
"This Christmas I got a new car for my wife. I thought it was a great trade."
"Reddit is red. Reddit is red, Facebook is blue.... No mutual friends, Who the fuk are u?"