105472

Joke of the Day

"Have you ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich? That's what its like to fuck a 90 year old"

"""Mos Def"" is my favorite rapper named after a girl who doesn't actually plan on hanging out with you."

"I keep burning food with my Presidential Debate microwave... I set it for 2 minutes but it never stops on time."

"What's the difference between blacks and cancer cells? Cancer cells can get Jobs."

"Why did Donald Trump win Florida in the Presidential Election? Floridians have seen the positive effect an Orange can have on the economy."

"My friend asked if he could tell me a Soundgarden joke. I said no. I didn't want to hear a Black Hole Pun."

"How much coke did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men."

"My Czech mate is surprisingly bad at chess."

"What are ISIS militants using to stuff their Thanksgiving goat? Their dicks!"

"What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dicktater."