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Joke of the Day

"A short philosophy joke... Rene Descartes is walking around a party when somebody asks him if he'd like something to drink. Descartes answers, ""I think not"" and promptly vanishes."

"HI I SPIT GUM OUT OF MY CAR ON THE FREEWAY AND IT BLEW BACK IN MY EAR 911: Sir, u need to pull over WHAT 911: Use your other ear, sir WHAT"

"How do you tell the difference between a redditor and a MOBA player? Ask them what OP stands for."

"I was going to try and convert my friend to nihilism. But I decided it would be pointless."

"TIFU by falling asleep on the john at noon. I meant Job. I fell asleep on the Job. :D :D"

"My wife caught me measuring my dick. Embarrassing! It reached just to the back of her sister's throat."

"As a Canadian I like to go clubbing; but if theres no seals around..."

"Why did the sick eagle get deported? Because he was an illeagle."

"I wanted to bake a cake from scratch, but I'm out of scratch."

"why thank you, sir! I was totally unaware of my big titties. How kind of you to risk your safety by yelling it out of the car window."