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Joke of the Day

"Why can't a dog clap in the middle of a movie? Because it keeps hitting pause."

"Hannibal Lecter tells his first victim what he is going to do to him... Victim- ""You are shitting me..."" Hannibal- ""Not yet"""

"I'm 99% sure I have trust issues. Though I'm not sure I trust my math. Edit: I grammar well"

"Bees Q; What kind of bees make milk? A; Boobies"

"[guy wearing a ski mask holds a gun to my head] ""please go skiing with me I am so alone"""

"Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calendar? they each got 6 months"

"What does a SJW do on Halloween Triggered treating"

"Thank God there are no Bible verses shorter than 140 characters."

"Me: damn, doc I'm losing my hair. What can you give me to keep it in? Dr.: a plastic bag"

"My friend David lost his ID... Now we just call him Dav."