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Joke of the Day

"Rape Such a short word for such a long sentence."

"Did you hear about the two Jamaican Turtles at the RNC? They were just looking for Michelle Bachman."

"How do you spell socks in Spanish? Eso si que es."

"What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor"

"A joke I wrote in the style of Mitch Hedberg... I'm gonna change my name to 'marriage,' man. That way, all those girls out there can be saving themselves for *me*!"

"Did you hear the one about the Vegan diet? Really? I'm shocked they didn't tell you already."

"I decided to have a can of soup for lunch today... ...And hating to see good food go to waste, I decided to have the soup as well."

"How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. 1 to screw it in and 2 to talk about how much better Neil Peart could've done it"

"The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old So you have to be 21 years old to drink, and 8 to summon the devil"

"I wanted to make a joke about transgenders... ...but I don't have the balls to do it. Not anymore anyway."