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Joke of the Day

"Thank God there are no Bible verses shorter than 140 characters."

"I sext my foreign girlfriend a lot. I've come to find it's very difficult to say I'm stroking my cock in French; Although really I should just wait till class is over."

"Even though my dad is a Trump supporter I let him borrow my car because I'm a good person. I mean, I'm going to report it stolen, but still."

"What did the forward rooster say? Cock a doodle do. What did the backward rooster say? Doodle doodle cock. WHAT did the gay rooster say? Any cock will do."

"This status is dedicated to whatever you're ignoring in real life to read it."

"Do you know what that white shit in bird shit is Shit..."

"I went into a hotel.. I went into a hotel when a luggage boy came and said ""I'm the 'beg'gar"""

"A cop stopped a guy for speeding... He said, ""I have been waiting all day for someone like you."" And the guy answered, ""That's why I wanted to be here as fast as possible !"""

"have to stop saying ""how am i going to kill my way out of this one"" everytime there is trouble going on, or at least not out loud"

"The police caught me while I was spraypainting graffiti. I tried to deny it, but the writing was already on the wall."