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Joke of the Day
"[guy wearing a ski mask holds a gun to my head] ""please go skiing with me I am so alone"""
Next Joke
"Why did Jack cross the road? Because he was bean stalked....."
"I like my men like I like my coffee black, ground up and in the freezer."
"We arrested a troupe of mimes for their unspeakable crimes.... None of them talked. But they did point fingers."
"Keeping tic-tacs in your pocket lets people know you're more embarrassed of your breath than you are of sounding like a human maraca"
"discontinue use and talk to your doctor if you experience death, as this may be a sign of a more serious condition."
"Me: What's the capital of Ohio? Son: ... Me: It's also a famous explorer. Son: Dora? Me: Yep. Dora, Ohio."
"Chameleon wife: ""Does my bum look big in this dress?"" Chameleon husband: ""What dress? Where are you?"""
"Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they're stabbing it? No? How about now?"
"Why was Leia disappointed on her wedding night? Han shot first."