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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: How are you doing this morning? Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you?"

"So all them black Harry Potter wizards just sat there and let slavery happen?"

"What's the difference between eugenics and a charity marathon? The second one is a race for the cure. Source:http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3180"

"People who are offended when I breastfeed in public need to STFU. What I'm doing is natural and strengthens the bond between me and my dog."

"A man and his wife find an S & M magazine under their son's bed. Mom says ""This is horrible, what should we do?"" Dad replies, ""Well we can't spank him!"""

"When does CPR become necrophilia? When you are both stiff"

"I'll play duck-duck-goose and give all gooses. I don't give a duck."

"Behind every great man there's a great woman who can take whatever he just said and turn it into a great big fight"

"What did the gay guy, say to the man at the bar? Can I push your stool in?"

"I only read 1 line jokes on reddit"