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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an aardvark good with a light saber? A darthvark!"

"I could have sworn I heard a chorus of a thousand tiny voices rising up from the shower drain to wish me a Happy Fathers Day."

"I don't know how you women do it. Every time I try to ""sleep my way to the top"" I get woken up and sent to HR."

"I've been to 3 different specialists at the Foxsworthy Institute and they still can't be sure whether or not I'm a Redneck. I'm losing hope"

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed the headphone jack with lightning"

"I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house."

"Why did the college student change his major from Biology to Physics after his first exam? He needed to see if how fast his grade dropped broke any laws of physics."

"I like my girls like I like my pepperoni pizza White, full of fat and red dots all over them... :-("

"People who are constipated are such activists. They're seriously always trying to start a movement..."

"The Police come right away when you tell em your baby is locked in the car... They don't however think it's cute to call your phone baby.."