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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar and his name is JOHN CENAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

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"Why don't astronauts keep their jobs very long? Because as soon as they start they get fired."
"When your SO asks Daddy for ketchup at the family BBQ. And you BOTH grab it at the same time."
"People who say they'll be late for their own funeral* *trust me. you'll make it."
"Empty My head is just like the comments section. (I'm not sure if the 'Wow, such empty' is on PCs and laptops so... yeah...)"
"To me Bernie Sanders is more like God It is not the guy I have problem with but the fan club freaks me out."
"The mailman gave me a letter from a child this morning. The grammar was bad. But the delivery was good."
"Me: Tell me about your weekend. Bob: Why? You never ask. Me: I find your voice acts like a laxative. Bob: That's disgus- Me: It worked! Bye."
"Just think if the kids that made Frosty the Snowman brought two carrots that day."
"Democrat men like to watch football while the women fix holiday meals. On this Republicans are in full agreement."