224763
Joke of the Day
"People who say they'll be late for their own funeral* *trust me. you'll make it."
Next Joke
"In my experience, less than 40% of people wearing ""Duke"" sweatshirts are actual dukes."
"[gets out of tanning bed with a grilled cheese sandwich]"
"What does Hillary Clinton use to drown the noise of Black Lives Matter protesters? White noise"
"What do you call a tight asshole? a noose"
"What is the opposite of /r/upliftingnews? /r/news"
"Why are Toblerone's triangular shaped? So they fit in the box."
"Me: I know exactly what's wrong with me, Doctor. Dr: I told you no Google. You Googled, didn't you? Me: NO! Dr: <blink> Me: One TINY Google."
"Confucius Say Man who run behind car get exhausted But man who run in front of car get tired."
"Do stoners just call it a five? Do native American Indians just ask 'Are you?' after greeting someone? Do Canadians buy smaller batteries by accident, eh?"