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Joke of the Day

"Me: Tell me about your weekend. Bob: Why? You never ask. Me: I find your voice acts like a laxative. Bob: That's disgus- Me: It worked! Bye."

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad."

"What do you call someone who cuts down trees? A lumberjack, you fucking idiot."

"According to the customer service, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ."

"Why is the Adults only store open 24hrs? Because get off at different times."

"*1st date* [be cool, just dont let her know youre a 1st generation PS3] so where do y- *internal cooling fan drowns out entire conversation*"

"If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong ..."

"Whats the difference between jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come home from camp"

"I wonder if black ants and red ants have beef. I never see them chilling together. Ever."

"Son of a Beach So I like digging. I am going to go the beach and become a professional digger. Professional digger."