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Joke of the Day

"ME: omg I love your accent! Say that again! MY AUSTRALIAN WIFE: You're shallow and selfish. I'm leaving you and taking the kids."

"Why would anyone ever think gay people tear apart the fabric of society? They love fabric."

"If your conservative parents piss you off over the holidays, come out to them. You don't even have to be gay, it's just a fun thing to do."

"Did you hear about the girl that failed her sex ed class? She got the D"

"Migrants are no longer welcome in the Greek island of Lesbos... as some people munched up the red carpet."

"Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake? Because she had one heck of an ex-goose"

"*unexpected snow fall* Americans: ""It's the end. The apocalypse is here!"" Canadians: ""Huh...I might need a jacket"""

"Why did the Seahawks win the 2015 NFC Championship game against the Packers? Because even Aaron Rodgers is a 12!"

"I nearly dropped my game of scrabble It could've spelled disaster if I actually did"

"Why did the tennis player get thrown out of his workshop? He was making a racket."