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Joke of the Day

"Fun Fact: When your favorite football team wins, you don't win. You're just drunk on a couch screaming at a TV."

"I don't know why, but there were a lot of really disappointed convict's in my first class of Gen. Chem..."

"Leonardo DiCaprio is totally getting laid tonight! This has nothing to do with the Oscar, just a safe assumption to make each and every day."

"Hmmm... If I throw a watch in the garbage.... Is that considered a waste of time..?"

"If smart guys like dumb girls, and dumb guys like dumb girls, who likes smart girls? Cats."

"If a cop yells at you to GET DOWN just start twerking cause damn, dude, be more specific"

"Do you know why they call it the Xbox One? Because you take one look and walk away."

"I'm scared of trampolines They make me jump!"

"If H2O is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside? K9P"

"I just ate two French eggs... I think one is un oeuf"