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Joke of the Day

"Today is apparently Ash Wednesday which I can only assume has something to do with our hero from the hit TV show Pokemon."

"Me: God, I just feel so Brain: HUNGRY M: No, I'm very alone. I desperately want B: FOOD M: Part of me is missing. All I need is B: PRINGLES"

"One day I'll pretend to be gay. I'll make lots of female friends, gain their trust. Become their confidant, and when they least expected...BAAM!!! I'll fuck their boyfriends"

"I am realistically only 1 crossbow away from accidentally killing someone with a crossbow."

"LOL What is Charlie Sheens middle name? Washingma Charlie Washingma Sheen"

"""WITH OUR POWERS COMBINED!"" ""EARTH"" ""WIND"" ""WATER"" ""FIRE"" ""HEART"" ""SELF-LOATHING"" get outta here Eli ""SORRY"""

"How are babies different from feminists ? Babies grow up and stop crying"

"Why was Aladdin disqualified from the Rio Olympics? He was on performance-enhancing rugs."

"My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it's there to stab potential taco thieves."

"What's all brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!"