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Joke of the Day

"Today is apparently Ash Wednesday which I can only assume has something to do with our hero from the hit TV show Pokemon."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill; each one had a quarter When they came down Jill had both, You think they went for water?"

"why was the computer late to work? because it had a hard drive! (stole it from ellen, from her classic joke tuesday)"

"Bought some gary speed wallpaper last night, its amazing! it hung itself!"

"What do you call a scary prostitute? Horrifying."

"Siri just said I'm looking for love in all the wrong places so I'm tryin to figure out what happened to Siri and how my mom got in my phone."

"Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food... Neither have they."

"How many trains have I derailed in all my years as a train driver? It's hard to keep track."

"The movie ""Noah"" comes out this weekend. It follows the story of a family trying to survive God's wrath on a giant boat for months. Or as that's more commonly known, a Carnival Cruise."

"What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A new last name."